What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

How does a 45-year-old man get a girlfriend?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

What is after school detention like in your school?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Do all armies have the same rank structure?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

How can someone in your family purposely try to destroy your reputation?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Geothermal Energy Has A New, 163-Gigawatt Message For Fossil Fuels - CleanTechnica

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

What is your craziest college sex story?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why can't NASA just bite the bullet and launch a plainly simple mission, audited by flat earther peers start to finish that definitively proves to even the smallest minds that the earth is an oblong spheroid, and not flat?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Why has Biden pulled ahead in battleground states and is now projected to win the 2024 presidency?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Why are the democrats keep insisting that there are more than two genders?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What is something you saw while on an airplane that you couldn't believe?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

TEXT:

My stepmother has banned me from the family. Can she legally keep me from going to my father's funeral?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.